Ms. Unmotivated

From left to right: Adderall XR, Vyvanse, Concerta, Focalin XR, Ritalin. Courtesy of New York Times. I’m not an IP lawyer; please don’t sue me. 

As you may recall from my very recent post, Oprah told me that my number one passion is Adderall. This may or may not be true. For those of you may not be familiar with Adderall, you are truly missing out. Okay, joking aside, Adderall is a brand name of a medication used for ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). It also—not surprisingly—is used to treat narcolepsy.

The New York Times recently did an interesting ensemble of pieces of the recent rise of what they call the “good-grade pill”. See here, here and here. Ironically, they also did a piece in 2005 on Adderall, which reported that “[a]s many as 20 percent of college students have used Ritalin or Adderall to study, write papers and take exams.” Apparently now the craze has reached high school students. 

 But with so much stress, the once blasphemous tactic now seemed like an obvious, harmless solution to pass finals. The same week I got two pills from my classmate. I took the first one during school and had never been more focused in my life-I basically acquired tunnel vision. For the next several hours, nothing- not the couple making out in the hallway, the obnoxious, gum-smacking gossips, even my friends -could break my focus.  

- New York Times Female Teen, 17

The first time I ever tried Adderall was my senior year of college. I don’t recall how I became aware of the drug. All I remember is that it was finals week, they became available to me, and I tried it. Unfortunately I didn’t feel the same instant superman-like motivation and drive that others report. I spent the next six or seven hours shopping online at Victoria’s Secret. [By the way, what is her secret exactly?] 

More recently though, I started occasional usage for work, particularly when I need to sit and listen for long periods of time (depositions), or bang out firedrill motions. And you know what? It works now, though I’m not sure why. Some days I seriously consider attempting to convince a doctor to actually prescribe it to me but I know how difficult that is, especially as a “successful” (and clearly stressed) adult. 

 So, as the workload piled up, my search for Adderall began. Within twenty four hours I had five pills in my hand, costing me a mere five dollars. Five dollars for an A on an exam didn’t seem as if it were any kind of price to pay at all.

Naturally, the five pills were gone sooner than you could say AP US History. So I searched for more. It wasn’t long until I found someone else who could get me more. Only this time it was Vyvanse, which was twice as strong. Only this time the price tripled. $3 a pill. Still, incredibly worth it. The Vyvanse crash was worse, but not bad to deter me at all. 

Then one day, I found someone who gave out Concerta for free. And from that moment on, I was hooked. 

NY Times Female Teen, 17 

Perhaps this speaks to the level of my moral turpitude, but here are the only things I thought after reading the above quote: 

1. How is this girl getting Adderall for $1/pill? 

2. What the fuck is Vyvanse? Where do I get some? 

3. What idiot gives out Concerta for free?